


Things Not To Do When You Have A Peanut Allergy

by dreadpiratewatson



Category: Kingsman (Movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Allergies, Eggsy as Galahad, Eggsy is a Little Shit, Established Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Harry as Arthur, Hiding Medical Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Mother Hen Merlin, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, breaking boyfriend rules, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreadpiratewatson/pseuds/dreadpiratewatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy's allergic to hazelnuts, and uses it to his advantage on a mission. Cue angry, worried boyfriend Harry Hart, mother hen Merlin, and a lot of fluffy fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Not To Do When You Have A Peanut Allergy

**Author's Note:**

> **NOTE** I do not have a peanut allergy (I am allergic to apples though) so everything in here is based off of 15 minutes of research on Google. So, my depiction of anaphylactic shock may not completely accurate, so just roll with it.

_Get in, get the intel, get out, Merlin said._

_It'll be simple, Merlin said._

Eggsy's bitter, frustrated thoughts continue to roll around in his head behind his smile as he watches his mark pour two flutes of champagne with a coy smile on his face. He's been sitting on the mark's couch in his ridiculously large penthouse for over an hour, with no results. Even Merlin's gotten bored, and is probably finishing a crossword puzzle while the mark continues to bore Eggsy to death with his boasting and bragging about fuck only knows (Eggsy stopped listening fifty nine and a half minutes ago). However, Eggsy tries very desperately to focus on his mission, because despite being  _fucking boring as shit,_ his mark apparently has the key code to an underground missile that's supposed to "take care of" all of the major drug running countries of the world, and all Eggsy has to do is place a special bug in his phone and get the fuck out of dodge. (So as long as he doesn't die from quite literally being balls-deep in boredom.) 

'The bug', Merlin had told him back at HQ. "Is a specialty of mine. It changes the code to a Kingsman-specific one, allowing me to know exactly when he uses it, and from my computer, I can make his whole machine malfunction, and render the missile useless. Central Intelligence will be on his exact location within fifteen minutes of the machine going down. All you need to do is get ahold of his phone long enough to place it.' 

 _Easy peasy,_ Eggsy had thought, until Harry said, "But, whatever you do,  _don't_ sleep with him." 

Apparently, in addition to being boring and psychotic, this guy also has a reputation for not telling his bed-partners about his HIV that he, ironically (and sadly, Eggsy can get that), got from sharing needles back before he was a billionaire, and when he was homeless and addicted to heroin. 

'So, it's a honeypot without the sugar?' Eggsy had smirked, earning a long-suffering sigh from Merlin, and a cough from Harry.

Armed without any gear other than a special pair of contact lenses that serve the same purpose as the glasses, and a knife in his pocket, Eggsy, who is posing as Ethan Greene, his mark's shy, but delectable new intern, is resorting to his classic slight-of-hand tricks to complete his mission. 

 _If only the guy would shut the_ fuck  _up for a second._

"...Don't you think, Ethan?" The mark says. 

Eggsy looks up from the floor and makes himself blush. "Sorry, sir, what did you say?" He replies nervously. 

 _"Getting sleepy, Galahad?"_ Merlin snarks in his ear. 

The mark, Carson Holt, smiles slyly and sinks down onto the sofa next to Eggsy, handing him the drink. "You seem distracted tonight, Ethan. Was it something I said?" He asks, lying his hand on the agent's knee.

Eggsy, as Ethan, swallows hard, though the real Eggsy is rolling his eyes so hard he can see the inside of his own skull. "Y-yes, sir. I-I mean, no, sir, not at all!" He stutters his way through. "It's just... I've never, y'know..." He gestures to Holt, and adds on a blush for good measure. 

"Never been with a man?" Holt finishes, sliding his hand further up Eggsy's thigh. 

He squirms under the touch. "I've uh... Never been with anyone, sir." He whispers, sounding half embarrassed, half so far gone already he can barely think. 

 _"Galahad, be careful."_ Merlin warns in his ear. 

Holt's eyes darken with pure lust, and he makes a sound in his throat that mimics a growl as he leans closer to Eggsy's face, and mouths sloppy kisses down his neck. "Oh, Ethan." He purrs into Eggsy's ear. "I am going to have  _so much fun_ with you." Then, he's pushing the agent onto his back on the sofa, Holt on top of him as they begin to snog like a couple of teenagers. 

 _"Fuck."_ Eggsy moans loudly, covering his mouth with one hand while the other reaches for the phone in his mark's pocket. 

"Not yet, baby." Holt orders in a way that's not sexy at all as he bites down on his neck. 

He tries not to cringe at the pet name, and he can almost hear Roxy snickering in the background of Merlin's comm, but it doesn't matter, because Eggsy's found the phone, and he's just about to grab it...

When the bloody thing starts ringing, and he has to pull his hand away in time so that Holt doesn't see what he's up to. 

Without even getting up, Holt grumbles and answers the call. "What do you want?" He snarls into the phone. There's a brief moment of muffled talking on the other end, and then the mark pushes himself up, and asks the caller to wait before he turns back to Eggsy with an apologetic, but no less seductive smile. "You just sit right there, beautiful, I've got to take this call. I'll just be downstairs." 

Eggsy nods, and makes a clumsy show of pushing himself up into a sitting position, smiling weakly and hopefully at Holt, who winks at him before exiting the room. 

The moment the door is shut, Eggsy curses and falls back against the sofa. 

 _"Charming fellow, isn't he?"_ Merlin mutters in his ear. 

He scoffs. "You're tellin' me." Then, he groans, and leans forward to rake his hand through his hair. "I had it, Merlin. I had the fuckin' thing in my hand, and I was so close. He ain't gonna let that phone out of his sight the rest of the night." 

Merlin sighs.  _"The mission was a long shot to begin with, Galahad."_

"He's expectin' sex when he comes back. I don't think he's the "take no for an answer" type neither, so what do I do?" 

 _"You tell him you aren't ready, that you need to get home, there's an emergency, it doesn't matter, just_ _get out. We'll try again another time."_

"There might not _be_ another time, Merlin, what if he sends that thing off tomorrow? A lot of people are gonna die if I don't get this bug on his phone." 

_"Then what do you propose we do, Galahad?"_

Eggsy falls back against the sofa with an exasperated sigh. "I don't know. I don't have a fuckin' clue." Out of pure necessity for a drink, he reaches for his champagne, when he catches sight of a small bowl on the coffee table a few meters away. A familiar green label sticks out at him, and he knows exactly what they are;  _Lake Champlain's Hazelnut 5 Star_ chocolate bars. 

And suddenly, Eggsy has an idea. 

An  _awful_ idea. 

A stupid, stupid,  _stupid_ idea that's crazy enough to work. If he plays his cards right and times it perfectly. 

He contemplates it, weighing the consequences, weighing the risk... And decides that for over hundred million lives, risking his own is worth it. 

"Merlin," He asks quietly, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. "Can you re-route a call to 999 so that extraction gets it instead so they can come pick me up?" 

_"Of course. Why?"_

Eggsy sighs, and closes his eyes. "Just trust me. This'll work." 

_"Galahad-"_

"Just tell extraction what's going on, and tell me when he's coming back upstairs, okay?" He orders, not letting him argue. 

There's a pause, then Merlin makes a sound of acknowledgement.  _"Just please be careful, Galahad. Arthur is already on edge with you taking this mission, I don't need you raising his blood pressure anymore than you already have."_

Eggsy cringes. He knows what he's about to do is going to make Harry furious, and he's going to be in heaps of trouble when he gets back home, but the mission is more important right now.

_"He's on his way up, Galahad."_

He nods so that Merlin knows he heard him, then waits a few seconds before getting up and stealing one of the chocolate bars from the small bowl. As he hoped, Merlin says nothing about it, and after taking a deep breath to slow his hammering heart that's telling him what a  _very fucking bad idea this is,_ he pops the small bar in his mouth. He chews it quickly, and swallows it all, knowing that he only needs a little bit of the hazelnut in him. His reactions come fast and with a vengeance. He'll only have a few minutes. "Merlin? Tell Harry not to be too mad at me later, okay?" 

_"Galahad, whatever you're doing-"_

But Merlin doesn't get a chance to finish, because Holt pushes open the door with a smile on his face, and slips the phone into his left pocket. "Sorry about that, beautiful." 

Eggsy swallows hard, and smiles shyly. "It's alright." 

Holt lowers himself down onto the sofa next to him and returns his hand to his thigh. "Now, where were we?" He murmurs. 

"Actually," Eggsy squeaks, playing up the "nervous virgin" act. "Could we maybe... Just have another drink? I'm feeling kind of anxious about... You know." He adds a blush for good measure, and tries to look as apologetic as possible. 

Lucky for him, it works, and without missing a beat, Holt pulls his hand away, and stands up. "Of course, baby. But you know I'll take care of you. There's no reason to be afraid." 

 _Yeah, I've heard that one before._ Eggsy thinks sarcastically, rolling his eyes once Holt turns his back to pour the champagne. "Yes, sir." He whispers. 

Then, he coughs. 

It's small, small enough to go unnoticed, but when Holt returns with the flute of champagne, Eggsy tries to utter a thank you, but he's immediately cut off by another cough, and a cut off, rasping breath. 

 _"Galahad? Are you alright?"_ Merlin asks immediately. 

Holt frowns. "Ethan? What's the matter?" 

Eggsy shakes his head, coughing still. "Sorry, sir, I don't-" He's cut off by more coughing, and he can now feel his lungs beginning to tighten, his chest becoming tight, and he sucks in a sharp breath that doesn't quite do anything. 

"Ethan?" 

_"Galahad?"_

Holt sits down and thumps Eggsy on the back a few times with a laugh. "Nerves, beautiful?" He says, and Eggsy has to try very hard not to punch him in his stupid face. 

He shakes his head. "No, no, that's not-" Another harsh breath. "I can't- I can't  _breathe._ " He urges, sounding half choked and half panicked, which isn't exactly a lie. It's hard not to panic when you're going into anaphylactic shock. 

 _"Galahad,_ _what's wrong? What's happening?"_ Merlin demands in his ear, sounding alarmed. 

"Ethan? Talk to me, what is it? You're going all red." Even Holt sounds freaked out now. 

Eggsy whips his focus to the chocolate bar wrapper on the floor and reaches for it, but immediately falls down on his side, clutching at his chest and gasping for air as he ignores Merlin shouting in his ear. Holt falls to his knees beside him. "Ethan?" He tries to sound calm. "Ethan, are you allergic to something?" 

"Hazelnuts." Eggsy chokes out in between coughs. 

 _"Oh, fuck! Galahad, what the fuck are you doing?"_ Merlin hisses in his ear in a panic. 

And just like that, Holt turns his gaze over to the bowl of chocolates on the table, and just like that, it dawns on him what's happening.  _"Fuck!"_ He shouts, jumping to his feet and pulling out his phone. 

In his ear, it's chaos. Merlin is swearing under his breath and over the loud of his own labored breathing, Eggsy can hear him typing furiously, and in the background, he can hear Harry yelling in an unintelligible panic, screaming orders, and for some reason, it makes his chest tighter. Harry's supposed to be at home. 

His chest gets tighter and his gasping for breath gets harsher, and the sound of his own frantic heart gets louder and it's only then that he remembers he has a mission to do, so he turns over onto his side, and in a fit of coughs and gasps, he pulls the small box in his pocket that holds the almost microscopic bug, and sticks the small device, barely bigger than the head of a pin, onto his index finger. He lets out a loud cry, and suddenly, Holt is by his side, still on the phone. "He doesn't have five minutes, lady, he's fucking dying!" He's shouting into the receiver when the mark drops to his knees at Eggsy's side. "Ethan, just hold on, okay, there's an ambulance coming." He goes to get up again, and Eggsy grabs his phone holding arm, pulling him back down. 

"Don't... Don't leave." He gasps, tears brimming in his eyes. "Don't leave. I don't-I don't want to die." 

 _"Eggsy, don't you dare!"_ A new voice in his ear commands, a voice so dear to him, yet so frightened that he almost feels guilt weighing over the pain in his chest. 

It's a dirty jab, Eggsy knows that, and entirely bullshit, because he knows Merlin's on it, but using for dramatic effect? He has no qualms with it. And, it works; Holt leans down closer, and when he's not paying attention to anything but the frantic look in Eggsy's eyes, Eggsy grabs the man's hand, and presses the bug to the back of the phone. It sticks, Holt is none the wiser, and If he weren't coughing so hard, Eggsy would have smiled. 

That's when extraction, led by Gawain and Lancelot (who looks equal parts infuriated and impressed), comes bursting through the door followed by other Kingsman agents, all miraculously dressed like EMTs, and all of them crouch down onto the floor beside him. Lionel shoves an oxygen tube down his throat while they move him to the gurney and Roxy pumps him full of enough medication to knock the shit out of a bear. Holt is standing by, looking nervously at Eggsy on the gurney as they take him away, and though he can't breathe and his body hurts and he feels like he's going to pass out, he knows that one hundred million lives are saved, and honestly? He can't really feel that bad about it. Not even when Roxy reams him in the ambulance while he's on the verge of passing out, and Merlin is growling in his ear about how Harry will be at the hospital when they arrive and that he 'better get some sleep, because Arthur's pissed, and he can expect a proper scolding when he gets home.'

 _That's rich._ Eggsy thinks as his brain goes hazy, and he finds it in him to laugh before lapsing into sleep. 

**_________________**

When he opens his eyes again, the first thing he sees is the white ceiling of the Kingsman medical bay. His body doesn't hurt like it usually does when he wakes up in medical, and he's more than grateful for that, until he looks to his right and sees his boyfriend sitting in a chair at his bedside, staring at him with a blank expression. Somehow, that makes him more nervous than if Harry had looked angry. He's broken quite a few rules, both KIngsman rules and definitely boyfriend rules, but he got the job done, yeah? He doesn't feel like he can speak yet, so he doesn't bother saying anything. 

Neither does Harry. 

Their eyes lock, and Harry sighs, then stands, and reaches out to Eggsy, like he's going to take his hand. It makes Eggsy feel a bit better, until Harry presses the call button, and walks away, back to his chair, without so much as a smile, or a 'I'm happy you're okay'.  _Ouch._

Morgana, the official doctor of KIngsman, comes in with Merlin right behind, throws out a cheerful 'Good morning, Galahad.' and debriefs him on his condition, like he didn't already know. She tells him that he'll only have to say the night if he cooperates with her, and apologizes to Merlin, who looks like he's pouting. Morgana doesn't even scold him for not telling them about his allergy to hazelnuts, only asks him what other tree nuts he's allergic too, if any. He isn't allergic to anything else, and after he says so, she jots it down in his file, pats his leg, and walks out.

Once she's gone, Merlin uncrosses his arms and makes his way over to the bed. He gives Eggsy a long, hard look dead in the eye, before his hard expression softens and he places a hand on his shoulder, squeezes gently, and swallows hard. It's the first time that Eggsy's ever seen Merlin on the verge of tears. _"You scared the hell out of me."_ The Scotsman growls shakily.

"'M sorry." Eggsy mutters, giving him his most honest smile. 

Merlin laughs quietly, and leans down to hug the young agent. It's awkward, because Eggsy's still sitting in a hospital bed, but it feels good, and Eggsy knows that Merlin's forgiven him, for the most part at least. Eventually, Merlin straightens up, nods to Harry, and exits the room, leaving him alone with his icy tempered boyfriend, who has yet to say anything at all.

He makes the mistake of looking over at Harry after Merlin leaves, and the older agent is doing nothing but staring him down, making him feel small and scared under the tired eyes.  _Definitely broke some boyfriend rules._ Eggsy thinks before dropping his gaze to his hands on the pale bed sheets. He picks at his fingers in the unsettling silence, waiting for Harry to say  _something._

Finally, after a long period of tense nothing, Harry sighs, exasperated. "You're a bloody idiot." He grumbles, and sags forward in his chair, burying his face in his hands. "What were you thinking, Eggsy? What on Earth were you thinking?" 

Eggsy turns to glare at his boyfriend. "I didn't have a choice, Harry. If I didn't get the bug on his phone, a lot of people were gonna die, an' I couldn't just sit there an' let it happen. That's my job, ain't it? Save lives, even at the risk of my own?" 

"No, Eggsy," Harry snaps. his glare becoming menacing. "You job was to get in and get out whether you placed the bug or not. What you did was reckless and a complete violation of your rights as a Kingsman. You could have  _died,_ Eggsy, do you understand that? If we hadn't gotten there when we did, you could have  _died._ And the fact that you did it  _purposely-"_ Harry cuts off from yelling long enough to rub at his face, and he lets the room go silent again. He doesn't seem to be able to look at Eggsy at all. 

Eggsy looks down and goes back to picking at his fingers again, ignoring the one that has started bleeding. "Harry, I-" He tries to say, but finds himself unable to speak. 

"I should suspend you." Harry says in his Arthur voice, and Eggsy tries not to say anything. "I should take you off every case for the next six months at least, until you can learn that-" 

"What? That I need to do everythin' you tell me  _exactly_ the way you tell me?" Eggsy bites back, his voice surprisingly strong for how tight his throat is. "'Cause sometimes, Harry, what you tell me to do ain't gonna cut it. I had a job to do, I got the mark in line for an arrest, and saved a fuckton of people doin' so, and I knew that Merlin was on it. You told me to trust that Kingsman will have my back no matter what, and I did. Why is that such a bad thing?" 

"You put yourself in danger, Eggsy!" 

"Harry, I put myself in danger every fuckin' day with this job! Why are you only now gettin' upset?" 

Harry goes quiet after that, and settles back into his seat, decidedly not looking at Eggsy anymore, but when Eggsy looks, he can see the same look on his face that he had standing in the bathroom of his home, right before he left for Kentucky, and nearly didn't come back. It leaves Eggsy with a foreboding sense of doom deep in his gut, and he wants to look away, but can't seem to find the strength. It isn't until Harry meets his eyes for a moment that he can find it in him to drop his gaze away from Harry's disappointed face. His boyfriend sighs, and Eggsy closes his eyes, bracing himself for whatever is to come. 

"There is a difference, Eggsy, between risking your life for a job, and committing an act that is purely suicidal. You chose to do the latter, and  _that_ is why I am so angry with you, because not only did you deliberately put your life at risk in such a way, but you didn't inform Merlin or the medical staff to do anything other than wait for you. What would have happened if there had been no epinephrine available? You could have died, Eggsy, do you not understand-"

"I had it under control!" Eggsy shouts back, voice oddly strong despite the tightness in his throat. "I've done it before, okay, usin' nuts to get out of shit with Dean, and I know how long it takes, I know how long I can go without treatment. I get it, okay? I knew what I was doin'. I just didn't want anyone to die 'cause I wasn't-" He's cut short by a soft noise that sounds very much like a poorly contained sob, and it takes a couple minutes for Eggsy to realize that it's come from him. He looks away from Harry, ashamed or the tears in his eyes and his shaking hands. "'Cause that's what it would be. If he had set that off tomorrow, no one would know, and so many people would have died, and it would have been my fault, Harry. I couldn't jus' let it happen. I couldn't." He pauses, and takes a breath, letting it out slowly. "I'm sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry." This time, his words come out as a whisper, and he half expects the next words out of Harry's mouth to be _y_ _ou should be._

But, Harry doesn't say a word. Instead, he crosses the room and wraps his arms around Eggsy's shoulders, and squeezes him tightly against his own body, and for a moment, Eggsy just allows himself to be held. He knows he's still in a fuckton of trouble, but it feels good to be held by Harry in this moment. It means that he's not in enough trouble to walk out of this thing single. 

That point only stands further when Harry laughs into his hair and presses a kiss to the top of his head. "You silly boy." He whispers, and pulls away gently, keeping his hands on Eggsy's shoulders. "Eggsy, look at me." 

When Eggsy does, he finds that all traces of anger have left Harry's features, and he's looking down at Eggsy like he always does, full of love and care and like he's the most precious thing in the world to him.

It's awful, really, Harry's effects on him, even after all of these years. 

"Eggsy," Harry murmurs, and it's so kind and so gentle that it makes his heart shudder. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. It was uncalled for." 

The younger agent laughs a little breathlessly. "'S okay." 

Harry shakes his head. "No, it really isn't. I'm not angry with you, really, if I'm honest with myself. I was more scared than anything else, because I didn't know. I was watching your feed from my office, and when I realized what was happening... God, Eggsy I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life. I was so afraid that you were going to die on that man's floor before extraction could get you, I didn't even stop to think that you maybe knew a little more about your own allergy than I did. And for that, I am sorry." He sounds like he means it. 

Not like Eggsy won't forgive him. 

He smiles up at Harry, big and goofy, just like Harry loves. "So, does that mean I ain't in trouble anymore?" 

Harry shakes his head. "Eggsy, you are drowning in trouble right now, because you're still an idiot." He says without heat before pressing a kiss to his forehead, and squeezing him tighter in his arms. "But, you're safe, and that's all that matters to me."

Eggsy smiles. He can work with that.


End file.
